For me, there is not much that is better than getting together with a group of people in a retreat or workshop space, taking real time, and exploring together the vast yet very specific territory (ies) of forgiveness.  In a recent gathering of a dozen people, I probed our collective understandings of forgiveness.  The response was a treasure trove of gathered wisdom:

• “letting go” of the transgression
• loving others in spite of their unloving behavior
• “healing my heart”
• laying down, releasing a burden
• unconditional love
• being released from “should”
• resilience, open-heartedness
• courage/vulnerability/entrusting
• a changed relationship with the past
• perspective
• compassion
• Textured: it “takes on many faces”
• canceling a debt
• all of us; who we are
• “the patient is humanity”
• honesty
• responsibility
• breaking destructive cycles
• interruption of such cycles and dismantling the structures that support them
• a conscious, thoughtful, examined decision
• can be applied to systems (systemic forgiveness)
• “a way through”
• intention; choices that lead to openness
• embodying hope in healing

This is a remarkable list!  It resonates with and begins to interpret gospel-centered meanings revealed in the New Testament:  Removing Obstacles; Unburdening; Liberating; Releasing; Giving Gifts; Allowing for New Experience.  It was asserted (by me) that it is God’s forgiveness that opens manifold possibilities for us in the receiving and offering of forgiveness.

The relationship between forgiveness and memory was a topic of deep interest. Forgiving is often equated with forgetting, but journeys of true healing and re-memberment involve a transformed relationship with the past rather than a disconnect, offering capacities for fresh learning, growth, even reconciliation. A brilliant, autobiographical book in this regard is Unforgetting by Roberto Lovado.  I highly recommend it.